I hurt!

I'm still struggling with those darned boundaries. It's day 15 post mastectomy and the little bit of moving around that I did today really hurts. I woke up hurting which is an indication that I did too much yesterday too. Do you realize how much we use our arms? Try moving around for 1 hour without your arms - dare you! :-) My back between my shoulder blades is where it really hurts as well as my right breast. It seems funny to me that this one is hurting more than the left but the expander feels really tight and is pushing on my side. And forget laying in any different position than on the back because then you can feel it even more. That includes watching a movie on the couch.

Do you realize how much gravity pulls on us? No wonder women are saggy in old age. Bending over pulls, sitting up pulls, laying down pulls in it's on way as does turning. I feel grumpy and say "enough already". Is there some lesson that I am missing? I really don't want to miss the lesson and have to repeat it at some future point in time.

Katie went to rehearsal, Steven to scouts and Anna and I watched a movie called Catch and Release. It wasn't a very good movie (4 or 5) but it had an interesting thread. If you haven't see it, Jennifer Garner is engaged to be married and her man dies. Long story short she finds out that she really didn't know him at all. She has a great quote along the lines of "Why did it take losing someone to really find them?" I wonder if I do that? Do we look past people and see only what we want to our what fits our comfort zone. In the end she makes peace with her man, what she knew and didn't know, says goodbye and moves on. And isn't that what we humans do? We get through it and move on.

So yes I hurt but I will move on. I must get to bed so I can try again tommorrow to find the elusive balance. Do women who are mothers and wives really ever find a balance? A friend is coming to nuture me and I have to see Dr. Q. It's still a great day to be alive and I am so grateful for all that is because all is well and as it should be.
Peace.