Paying Attention!

Yesterday I visited with Dr. Banich for 40 minutes. The appointment was for a 6 week post surgical follow up but we only spent about 5 minutes on that part. It was interesting to chat with him. He said that he had been thinking about me that morning and was going to call me. He said he laughed when he came into the office that morning and saw my name on his schedule. Talk about serendipity!

We chatted about my challenges with Lupron and getting the OB to do what I want. He indicated that I needed to write a letter to the director of the Breast Care Program and educate them to this treatment and explain that women should have a right to choose chemical oophrectomy vs. surgical. He now has a very clear picture of my mission with the breast care program which cracks me up because mine vision of this is very hazy other than the fact that I have a responsibility.

We chatted too about his experience with Chemotherapy. He told me it was important for me to embrace it and not push it away. By embracing it he indicated that I would fly through it with minimal problems. He had chemo several years ago for bladder cancer and said he would get chemo one day and go into work the next day. We chatted more about his personal experience and he gave me reassurances that I would be OK.

But the biggest contribution that he made to my life yesterday was the comment he shared with me about paying attention. He explained that most people go through life without paying attention to where they are and what is happening. I translated this to mean that his experience with cancer has taught him to live in the moment. Isn't that really the key to life? We don't know what tommorrow or the next hour holds for us. All we have is this moment in time. Who are we with, what are we doing, what do our senses tell us, how do we feel? Being present. We are after all human beings not human doings as an acquaintance recently wrote. Dr. Banich asked me to come back after the first of the year (when I was done with chemo). Before I left I told him about my head shaving party and he handed me a $100 bill as his donation. I left by hugging him and telling him that I loved him and was grateful for all the lessons he shared with me. He hugged me back and told me he had learned a lot too.

Came home to find Greg working on the truck, frustrated that he was spending his afternoon that way. We took a bike ride later in the day with the kids. Needless to say Greg was not up for dancing at all. Bummer. I could have gone by myself but it wasn't that important I guess.

This morning I got a call from an acquaintance who had seen my post about shaving my head and said I was an answer to her prayers. She said she was looking for an excuse to shave her head and wondered if I minded if she did it with me and raised money too. I laughed and told her that would be great. I really am going to get a Tshirt that says "I'm too sexy for my hair" and wear it all the time. I'll be so sick of it after that I can just throw it out.

I rode to the gym again his morning tand did my workout. It's cold and cloudy today so the ride was not quite as lovely as the last few days but I did enjoy the wind in my face nontheless.

It's a great day to be alive. Stop and pay attention to all the little moments today. These are the treasures of life. Peace.